Lessons of the Heart
by Darkbloodtwist
Summary: Chp 2 up: Mimiru cannot get over the past, yeilding over her love. Even so years later she had taken therapy in order to overcome her fears. When she comes back, she recieves the kiss she wanted, but in reality...its not real...
1. Plain, simple and in white

Plain, Simple, and in White

 A/N: I really hope you guys like it. _REALLY, REALLY, REALLY hope you like it. _I don't know but it seemed very deep to me…that and the fact that I wrote it. Please review. Because I'm going to delete it. 

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      "SO what are we here today for", the man, now sitting in a cushioned chair, said. He moved the clipboard to the side of a plague on that said. 

         "_Congratulations Doctor Houston. You have received a High Roll PhD in Psychiatry."    _

       She sat down on the curved chair like bed, continuing by lying down. The curtains were drawn closely, and the blinds of it all were straightened to an angle that only shadows appeared on the surface of all objects. The clock ticked monotonously. Tick, tock, tick, tock, so repetitive that she could not take it anymore. Beads of sweat fumed down into her silk blouse, and she perspired, though the AC was on full blast. 

        The girl on the chair started shaking feverously. Her hand started moving toward her head. "I heard them again, last night. They were screaming at me. All of them! The voices," the pupils drawn smaller. "THE VOICES" she shrieked. With that she started clutching her temples. 

         "Okay…………"he started scribbling stuff onto the clipboard. "Now this time………what did they say?" He rested his eyes into a stare with the pained green eyes.

         "They told me…………I was Mimiru."

          "Hm……..and this doesn't make any sense to you? Who is this Mimiru? Do you know her? Why do YOU think that they told you this?"

          She winced at the many questions. The psychiatrist she was seeing had a certain tendency to ask several new questions before she was given the chance to answer the first. She clutched her head, and curled up in a ball. "I don't know…..I DON'T KNOW!" 

          Without sympathy of any sort, but doing his job, he moved along with disgust and confusion. 

          "I really don't feel like myself now and days…………everything is maximized"

           "How so?" The psychiatrist places his hand on his chin, in theory, thinking.

          "It hurts."

            The doctor, now moved closer. Swiveling his chair over to her side. Looking at her current status. Sweat drops tilted toward the edges of her face. She seemed shaky in a bit. He called upon her name for about 5 minutes, the most. It seemed useless. Instead he went back to his desk, reached inside the drawer and drew out a bottle of pills. "I can only prescribe for you, sedatives. Not everyday. But when you're feeling, exciting, or feel you need to act upon a gesture." He put that into a white bag.

          "Anything else?" He asked, finishing up, and pulling out a scroll of papers.

         "No……….nothing else." Her eyes closed automatically. She sighed in relief that it was over……for now. 

          "Good. Here's your bills." He handed her the thick package of papers hanging on by a large paperclip. It was jotted with obscene numbers.

          She let out a short, "hm." And let it go to waste when she took in the papers. When she had gotten up, he began opening up the curtains and twisting the blinds for light to shine in. It had blinded her momentarily. Quickly she fled the room, moist in the mix of salty water. 

          Her subconscious laid her heavily, since she had told him a lie. She had something other. Something that occurred in her *dream* of some sort.  She was dressed in her Swordswoman outfit, as she had done years ago. She carried her sword, bulky, and fresh with metal. Her auburn brown hair shined brightly against the fantasy sun. Tsukasa ran up to her and embraced the digital character. It felt so real, yet so Fake. It was like she never heard anything. Just felt so……………loved. 

           He had opened his mouth. But nothing came out. Something he said made her feel burdened. Something that he mouthed made it seem like…………. He was back.

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           When she walked home, the girl in IRL that played Mimiru left the bills and pills alone trashing them into the garbage can near her bedroom door. She opened a bottle from a shortly unlocked cabinet in the guest hall. The label was "Vodka". Plain, simple and in white. A shot glass was sitting on her table, crusty from previous usage. She poured the vodka in, and it dully tingled against the glass. Just as she reached for the shot glass, slowly her eyes edged toward a head piece lying there on the ground. The wire was disconnected form the computer line. Rust started forming on the edges of the keyboard that was tossed elsewhere as well. 

            Wholeheartedly she refused to look at it anymore. As she did so, she felt a source magnetism drawing her nearer to the items. Instead she was forced to drink frantically at the vodka. As time passed…………….tick, tock, tick, tock. The vodka was down to an inch toward the bottom. She sole frankly lied in bed. The pictures rotated and danced around her.    

            On the wall was a taped picture of the girl _Mimiru_. The one she used to play online in The World. 

            _There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface_

_            Distracting._

_            Reacting._

_            It's like a self control I fear is never ending._

_            It's haunting_

_            How I can't seem…_

_            To find myself again_

**_My walls are closing in_**

****

Her hands pulsated_. _She got up from her bed, rolling over to the computer screen. The keyboard was straightened up. The mouse connected to the tower. Wires plugged into the phone jack. All that was left was the head piece on the ground. her fingers nimbly lifted the head piece up by steps. The girl in IRL form knew what she had to do now……… "_World….here I come"_

Her head snapped back from the game gear. 

~*~

The warp to The World digitalized her character into the virtual being _Mimiru. _Golden ring surrounded her at arrival. The Chaos Gate looked so foreign to her. Changes were made too many stands. The weaponry had low leveled weapons for the many newbies that came on. At the time of her arrival, several other copycat role-players logged in. Barbarians, sorcerers, and assassins were amongst the crowds.

For this, it angered her. _Too many changes_. _Too far of time for her to catch up on_. Too many people staring at her. Her character is old. No one uses it anymore. No one. Her first reaction was to scowl at them. Then _flip_ them off.

She wanted to find Bear……but……he's probably dead now? Mimiru didn't bother to find B.T. most likely she would have been a past of her memory. She wanted to find _him_. But where to start? There was over a trillion addresses on the net, perhaps more than that. None the one with him in most likely. 

            But she was determined so to find him…………and find out. 

                                                                                                            ~*~

            Heavy rings surrounded her, and she was in _The_ cave. When she first met Tsukasa. Behind the corner of the final treasure she was located. When she turned around to go seek the treasure………no one was there. _No Tsukasa. No first meeting_. As she walked over to the treasure, sulkily Mimiru sank to the floor, placing her head gently on the treasure. "Then why did I go back?" she asked herself. _Why? _Her eyes transfixed onto the ceiling in memory.

_"Looks like someone made it here before me"_

_The sorcerer looked confused, and befuddled by her approach. "Hmm……there aren't many of you guys now and days. An staff eh?"_

_He took a step back when she kept making factions toward his character, when really he didn't know so much as anything toward it. "Oof! Sorry. Hi, I'm Mimiru!" she stuck out her hand expecting a reply._

_"Hmph," with that he took out a warper necklace and golden rings surrounded him to another location. It didn't matter where………just not with her._

            Her eyes broke away from the ceiling and closed to relieve the stress the memory had put on her. "Why did you leave me Tsukasa?" She wished she could hear a reply. But in the silence only her soft crying could be heard. The tears dropped idly down her chin, and pelted onto the ground. Her heavy-blade dropped to the ground with a loud **clang**. 

            _"I didn't leave you," _she heard from inside the echoes of the cave. 

            Quickly she rushed to the supposedly place she heard that from. But all she saw was two characters arguing. 

            "BUT I DIDN'T LEAVE YOU! YOU LEFT ME"

            "I HAD TO FACE THAT MONSTER ALL BY MYSELF!" both voices started to drown away as they had seen Mimiru eavesdropping. Both characters had left, leaving her to silence again. 

            She let out a sigh. This time in pity that she had been fooled by her fantasies. She turned around……and her face froze. Something lit and she wanted to say something to jog it. 

            "I didn't leave you." In front of her---

            "_Tsukasa? _……..TSUKASA!" quickly she inched toward him in an embracing hug. "how! You! Tsukasa……" her lips parted……… and dipped in for a kiss. Like she had wished……a kiss………..from the one she loved      

When she released her locked arms around him, she looked at him adoringly. "Tsukasa, I need to tell you: I love yo—"

            _Shhhhhh_……………………….he said in reply. And held a finger to her lips. "I want you to know something….."

            Her eyes opened and her lips waited for him to say something back. When his lips departed to say it, her face fell. 

            "**_This is not real._**"

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A/N: Jeez………..I really am a crappy writer. How crappy you ask? Let me count the ways..................................1………2…….3…….. (five hours later) two-thousand, one hundred and thirty two. Two thousand, one hundred and thirty three…………(etc, etc.) I hope _SOMEONE_ (echoes in the cave) likes it!!! Review please. And hopefully I plan to not do a dance…………_like so_: (does the Macarena). 

                                                                                                                                                                        Authoress. 


	2. How so to continue?

Lessons of the Heart 2

**How so to Continue?**

**_A/N: (_**_Important**) **Hello all. I feel I must say "sorry" to anyone who was offended by my story. I wish not offend but only to amuse. When this story struck I thought it was a sure to attract reviewers._

_            And to Alex Warlorn, you have made me mad. And for that you must die. (Aims death ray at him/her or It) Questioning my methods of writing eh? For your information, I have **not noticed that real life stories are the "playground" (one word) for writers. (Maniacal laughter)… (Darkness.)  **_

**_Disclaimer_**_: I don't own anything…well…SOON IT SHALL ALL BE MINE! MUAHAHAHAAHAHA--- (everyone stares at her) erm…I don't anything at all... (teeter) I going to type now…erm…STOP STARING AT ME! _

_- Men in White Jackets: (comes to take me away)_

**_Reason for Chapter: _**_I blame the bunny…and its array of ducklings… _

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**_I._**_ If… you are lost on your way._

_Deep in an awesome story_

_Don't be in doubt and stray_

_Cling to your lonesome folly…_

"Tsukasa…," she reached out to touch him. To feel that source of love that could only be achieved by him alone. 

              So swiftly he swiveled around avoiding her…and her transfixed gaze. "This is the World Mimiru. Its just a game. I—You are just subliminal data particles that was put together by the company. Nothing more."

            Her head lowered in a fatal position. "Tsu-Tsukasa…I know…" Her face scrunched into a positive façade. "It's Subaru?" She inquired? 

            Tsukasa dared not to say anything about his relationship. For about as many years as Mimiru's absence… in the meantime, Subaru and Tsukasa have meant to know one another better. 

           Had he'd known better, behind him a soundless clatter of the blades woman's sword fell to the ground. Along with her legs…her body…her will? Had he wished to make contact with her it was too late before a swerve of rings surrounded a wisp of data formation. 

          She opened her eyes seeing the back of aqua green child character within the embracing arms of _her_ Wave Master. 

          The short wings turned, and Subaru emerged. "_Mimiru"? _She went to give her a hug. It was like Mimiru herself was being controlled, as the last of her energy went to hug Subaru idly. Like looking a mirror of opposites, Mimiru with the face of sorrow, her counterpart (Subaru) with glee, as she went hugging, and jumping happily into the arms once again of Tsukasa.  

            Her face had sneered into something disgruntle now. "**You'll get _yours_" she said beneath her breath. Subaru turned her head in question. **

            "What'd you say Mimiru?" she looked up concerned for her _friends health._

            Mimiru lifted herself up from the ground along with her sword. "I have to go…" she said with a nod to them both. "I hear my mother calling me", her weak smile cast a aura of _blood_ around her. 

            Their eyes trailed her as Mimiru, wobbled up and down with her riveting stiff hair she walked over to the main portal of rings of the game itself. 

           She waved effortlessly. "Yeah, yeah" she said venomously, but with a fake smile she waved back at them. She finished waving sharply, and stepped into the transparent rings. 

            While inside she began to think inharmoniously. _Hugging? You're making even the slightest contact. Bitch. I'll kill you…and when I do…_she chuckled within her thoughts. The lights swirled around her, and Mimiru's data particles dissipated into her hard drive. 

            A smile played upon her lips, as she removed the head piece. Her hair was caught onto the head piece. She yanked out the head piece violently along with a small array of her hair. _Pain…_

"Soon Subaru"

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"Heh heh" the psychologist said eying her new change of clothing. From the females previous choices of ragtag like running suit, to the now exploiting outfit. It had hung loosely on her shoulder, revealing a shade of smooth tan skin. Around her slender arms she carried a pink purse to match her lusciously decorated pink lips. 

             She made no effort to cover herself up. She crossed her laced legs seducingly, _Mimiru's feeling…rebellious. If I seduce him, will he forget about my bills? She got up from her seat, and placed herself within his laps. _He better keep his member to himself_… she stroked his chest, and flashed her pink lips at him. He fluttered to keep his papers together when it flew out of his hands. _

            She got off of him, getting down on the floor and picking the papers up. _Maybe this will squeeze the money out of him. When she got back up, handing him his stack of papers, she went to pick up her purse from the patients seat. Walked back to him and cooed in his ears, "9:00 your house. I have the address…maybe it'll be __a house call"_

            She pulled him extremely close to her face, planting only a teaser of what would "_happen" at 9:00. She left quickly after that leaving him in stun. His hands began to fluttering with his papers even after her leave._

"_Has to be the Old Spice_"the psychologist said strutting himself into the mirror of his office.

                                                                                                                         ~*~

             She showered thoroughly removing his psychologist like residue on her skin. _His money's worth something…__better this or nothing. Then I'll move onto plan 2. _

              She slipped into something skimpy and lathered a smooth transparent layer of lotion onto her body that was simply irresistible. On her way to the door, she went to the kitchen, and slipped into her red purse a steak knife, red wine and the sedatives he had given to her earlier. 

                                                                        ~*~

              The road was dark enough tonight as she drove her crimson car to his house. The girl in IRL (in real life) that was Mimiru stepped out of her car, slipping her hand halfway to the bottle of wine, and her pink laying slightly on the pills.

             The male in which she was meeting waiting sleazily in his gray robes, and smoking pipe. _Ugh… she though voraciously._

            When she stepped inside, she went to uncork the bottle of wine, taking the few wine glasses in front of her. She looked back to him going on the couch making himself comfortable. She slipped five pills into his drink, swirled it around in midair until it dissolved. She took the knife and scratched a tiny edge into the glass in which was dosed. 

             For herself she poured an uncontaminated glass. As she carried both drinks she continuously worked on his glass by swirling it, until even the bubbles filed down the solid red wine.

             "Hm…a nice choice of drink…" his eyes trailing the curves on her dress. When he drained the glass in my gulp, she stared at him waiting for results. 

            He swooned forward and grasp his head woozily. "_Whhatttt…hehe…comeon here honey",_ he looked strangely happy as the sedatives began to work. A smirk appeared on her face as she grabbed the knife from out of her purse, she pulled together the curtains. As she advanced forward, he goofily looked at her.  

"_Heheh……….what a lovely knife you have. Wha's it for?" _he slurred on.

             She stalked forward, and through the shadows of the curtains, the man crowned upward in pain. The music he put on drowned out the screams of agony. The girl in Irl, stabbed him spontaneously until his blood had created a pool around her legs. 

           **_What did she do after that, you may ask?_**

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           The body disposed through the garbage disposal…the rest of the red wine was spilt over the blood….

           After so, the house was ransacked for money, or goods that may be pawned off for a higher price. Through the bedroom upstairs, "_Jewlery…" _she chuckled in enjoyment. _The ol' foggie must have been cheating…hm…interesting_.

           She crammed the gold, diamond segments, silver from the kitchen, bonds stashed within the safety deposit box, in her purse. As she re-entered the living room shortly after ransacking, walking out of the house casually, _concealed in the darkness._

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            When she arrived home, a woman stood in front of her house. Her porch light cast a dim light on the figure. She took a few steps forward, looking into the mystery a little bit.

            Short brown hair, purple-like eyes stood firmly against the porch swing. "_Mimiru." _

Her eyes widened, as her stomach churned in excitement. "You're Tsukasa's game player?" _It doesn't matter…she thought. Mimiru (lets just give her that name to use now, since we don't know what it really is), went to embrace Tsukasa (as for his/her name as well), but it felt with such coldness that she had to release him. _

              "You weren't happy today Mimiru"

               "I was too…"

               "No…you lacked that certain _Mimiru-ism"_

"I was happy…end of story." She needed to end the conversation there at that point. It seemed like he was onto the fact that maybe…she wasn't happy when he broke her news of Subaru and his relationship. 

            Mimiru took leave of his gaze adjourning to her door. She felt a stopping force, as she curdled down to the ground. 

                                                                                                     **"_Mimiru!" _**

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(Hides under her computer desk) _Please don't hurt me…_

*I didn't mean to kill the whole joy of this story…I just have the plot leading up. Its working children, as for now…*

(Hides in cellar) _God, please don't hurt me…_(shudders under a cold touch)

                                                                                    -Save me…

Authoress


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